Things To Consider Today    By Leland Pulley

Dad Stay Involved In the Family

Father’s Day is here again and with it we have the opportunity to stop the clock and consider the important role fathers play in family life and in society.

I have noticed that many young fathers today are taking a personal interest in each child in their family. Quality one-on-one time is being spent. The bond between the child and his or her father is being strengthened. This is a good thing.

When a father puts his children high on his priority list, then time and energy and money are committed to each child. The quality of parenting goes up. This becomes a positive parental trend that eventually affects family life and other aspects of society.

Here are some simple ways to stay involved in the family.

• Sustain a happy relationship with mom over the years.
• Make time for family activities.
• Develop a close relationships with each child based on honesty, fairness, trust, and love.
• Know what is going on in the life of each child. Communicate with the child regularly.
• Be an active teacher, counselor, and coach for each child.
• Support specific activities for the child, and participate in some of them.

As a father I know how tempting it is for a man to focus most of his energy on things outside the home like career and civic activities, or on personal pursuits that benefit him more than his wife and kids. Yet we men must realize that our parental role is just as important as that of our wives. We do not have to do the same things in the same way in our family. We do not have to put in as much time as our wives, nor put in equal time every year, but we do have to make sure the parental needs of our children are met.

I remember the great distinction between my own father and mother and the roles they played in the World War II generation. Mothers spent far more time with the kids than dads. This seemed to work well for my society at that time.

Then came the baby boomers who began to blend the male and female roles to have a more unisex society. This affected family life. More mothers entered the workforce and kids saw less of both parents. Divorce increased, along with single parenting. It seemed for a while that dads were becoming a dying breed. They were not around as much as they were needed, yet their mates were now gone more too. More parental involvement by fathers should have occurred in the baby boomer generation. The negative effects of this are obvious.

Now the children of the baby boomers are parents. Many of them have been raised in homes without fathers. Many saw merely the boyfriends of mom over the years. Fortunately, some positive turnaround has been occurring in this third generation. Some of these younger parents today learned while growing up what they don’t want in family life. Now they are striving to have a better situation at home for themselves and their kids. This is encouraging young fathers to take more interest in parenting and be more active in the lives of their kids.

Whether you’re a young father, or older one, your role should be sustained from one generation to the next. Fathers are always needed to have the best family life. They provide support in a variety of ways to both their wives and children.

Fathers should be good examples of the male role and as heads of the home. Sons must learn the father role from dad, not mom. Daughters learn about the qualities in dads and husbands from fathers and should use this in selecting a mate for marriage.

The efforts of fathers are needed to support the efforts of mothers. They are partners with their mates in parenting, and should always act like partners. Together they should be a united front to their kids. They do not allow any child to get between mom and dad.

Fathers are needed to get things done in a home. They share responsibilities with their wives. They help make decisions and carry them out. They should have specific duties assigned to them in every marriage and family.  

In essence, fathers bring into a home their own unique contributions. Let us recognize and celebrate these things this Father’s Day. If your father is older and has raised you already, give him some recognition anyway.

I love my Father. I respect the role he played and seek to follow his good example. He had a profound influence on my life. Even though my mother spent more time raising me and I am on her side of the family for physical features, Dad had the most impact on my life. It is easy to recognize this now . Usually boys and male youths don’t fully appreciate these types of things until adulthood and they become fathers themselves.

May you enjoy this Father’s Day with your loved ones.

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Copyright  2007     Leland Pulley