Life In The Middle Today    By Colleen Pulley

When Choices Seperate A Family

The other day I was talking with a mother about her family. She mentioned she had a son who had struggled with depression and low self-image all his life. She said these problems had lead him to drug and alcohol abuse. She could not help but mention the sense of loss, the hurt, anger, and the embarrassment the entire family had experienced. At 36 he had never held a job, and had lived on the streets many times.

Over the next few hours I thought about the disappointment of that young man’s family. They had tried to encourage him when he was young, had paid for counselors, and alcohol and drug treatment programs, as well as multiple training and trade programs. In the end they had to accept the fact that they could only invite their son to take their help, but in the end it was his decision whether he accepted it or not.

This is probably one of the most difficult issues a family has to deal with. Each family is unique, but generally speaking, most parents and siblings try to help their spouse, child or sibling turn their life around when they get into trouble. It is only after their efforts have been refused, that they place a wall against the family member. (He broke into their home to get money to support his habits.)

A well-known picture is one of the Savior standing at a door without a handle. When I was young, I was puzzled as to why the door didn’t have a handle. My Mother put her arm around me and told me. “The house represents you, and your life. The handle is on the inside. It is only you who can let good or bad, light or darkness, into your life. The Savior is quietly waiting for you to open the door to let Him in.

Like that picture, at some point we must stand outside our children’s lives, and wait for them to invite us in. It is only then that we can celebrate their return, as did the parents of the prodigal son when he returned. We must wait until they choose to walk with us.

To mothers and fathers and other family members, waiting for a child, it may seem a long and lonely wait. But know this, there are countless others who, like you are shedding tears and feeling it must be something they did. I say to you, keep ever diligent for at some time you may hear the knock at your door of a prodigal child returning to you. May you have the strength, and fortitude to handle whatever life sends your way... Until later...Colleen

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Copyright  2007     Leland Pulley