Ideas For Living Newsletter

 

Things To Consider Today

How Mature Are You 

If you ask someone if he or she is mature individual, the immediate response would be yes.  After all, aren’t all adults mature?  The truth is maturity comes in stages and can vary from individual to individual.  In other words not all adults age forty have the same amount of maturity, nor are they equally mature in all areas are aspects of their lives.

To be mature refers to being fully developed in body and mind.  It is being complete in natural growth and development.  Something that is mature is fully aged or ripe, much like a fruit that is ready to pick off the tree and eat. Mature refers to being completed and not developing or expanding further. Finally, maturity can mean being complete in the sense of becoming or being perfect.  

 Maturity of the body is a natural process which people experience as they go through childhood and adolescence and into young adulthood.  As they move toward middle age and then into the older age years, the body continues to change until they eventually die.  There is a natural cycle being filled throughout their entire life. During the developmental years of the body, improper diet and health care, accidents, and other such things can impair the body and limit its natural growth and development. Individuals can do things like use drugs, or take unnecessary risks which lead to accidents.  Both of these can do damage to the body.  In many ways reaching full maturity of the body during the young adult years, and then prolonging good health in order to live a long life, both require effort in taking care of the body.  To be aware of your health and caring for your body is a sign of maturity.

 A related process to the development of the body is the development of the mind.  When all is well in the life of a young person, he will go through specific stages of cognitive development.  By late adolescence, he will have the same cognitive development as an older adult.  Yes, he can think clearly and quickly, as well as rationalize and solve problems presented to him.  He is ready to apply his developed mind to the task of learning adult ways of doing things and accepting adult responsibilities.  In other words, he has the mental equipment, but now he must choose to utilize it in a wise way during adulthood in order to get the most good out of it.

 With a healthy body and developed mind, a person is ready to seek mental maturity. Now things become more complex.  Maturity of the mind is far more complicated than physical development or merely going through the stages of cognitive development while growing up.  There are reasons for this. One is the circumstances one has had and is living in currently. Another is all the environmental influences that have impacted his life.  But the primary reason for differences in mental maturity is individual choices made in the past, and being made in the present. Variables like these produce or lead to far more variance between individuals in mental maturity than occurs in physical maturity and cognitive development.  

To illustrate differences in mental maturity, let’s consider some examples.

•   Children, adolescents and adults can lack self-esteem and thus become more vulnerable to outside influences, including peer group behavior and standards. This makes them more dependent and less capable of making the best choices for themselves. This is a form of immaturity.
•   Some young adults act their age and are truly accepting the full responsibilities of adulthood that is being thrust upon them.  Others are still acting like adolescents in many ways and not growing up and maturing as they should . They are playing around and not getting serious enough about adult duties and responsibilities.
•   Many adults are passing up opportunities to learn new things and develop skills and thus become broader individuals.  Others do not seek higher education and more professional development.  Such adults limit their own development and have less chance of becoming winners in life.
•   I see forty year old adults who remind me of myself at age twenty five. This is due to a poor entrance into adulthood by them, a lack of effort thereafter, and over the years them not growing up in the adult world as they should.
•   Many adults are choosing to avoid marriage and the commitment and obligations that come along with it.  This limits maturity.
•   Adults are avoiding the opportunity and responsibility to have children and thus are losing out on the growth that comes from the unique experience of parenting.
•   Some adults associate with people who do not make any demands on them, but merely accept them as they are.  Such peers, associates, or friends offer no stimulation to improve or develop oneself in any way. There is no incentive to become more mature.

 

Yes, there are many ways that adults make choices which either promote or hinder their mental maturity.

Some adults make the mistake of confusing true maturity and being sophisticated.  One who is sophisticated is worldly-wise and not naive.  He can appeal to cultivated  tastes. Sophistication is a process of changing from the natural or simple to the knowledgeable or cultured. Some sophistication through experience and over a period of time can be a good thing.  It helps adults to maneuver and survive in the adult world today.  However, sophistication can be used to take advantage of people, and to lift up oneself above others, or put on a false front to deceive. None of these things represent true maturity.

Consider the role of maturity in your life and how you may be doing things that could be contributing to it or taking away from it.

•   Learning to love others in an effective way is perhaps the greatest sign of maturity.  Nowhere is this demonstrated better then in establishing and maintaining a very good marital relationship over a long period of time.
•   As a parent, if you coddle your children too much, over protect them from adversity, or spoil them, then you’re not allowing them to mature as they should.  They will not appreciate all your well intended efforts, and later after passing through childhood and adolescence, they will not be strong young adults.
•   If you avoid learning and skill development, you limit maturity.
•   If you think too much about your needs and not enough about others and their needs, you’re displaying immaturity in human relationships.
•   Everyone must learn the law of work and sacrifice if they are to be productive and successful individuals. When you try to take shortcuts and cheat the laws of life in this area, you’re demonstrating you own immaturity.
•   Seeking new experiences will broaden you out and help you to gain perspective.  This increases maturity.
•   As you learn to develop relationships with different types of individuals and get along with them, you become a more versatile and strong individual who is more mature in people interaction.
•   Having empathy and extending sympathy are both signs of maturity.  Seek to cultivate them in your life.
•   One of the best test of maturity is your level of self-control. This applies to both your thoughts, speech, and actions.
•   Knowing about other cultures and religions and forms of government will help you to understand your own environment and background better.  You are better able to understand the world in which you live, and to deal effectively and fairly with people and situations.
•   Doing your duties and caring out your responsibilities consistently and with a good attitude is truly a mark of maturity.
•   Adding spirituality to your life and using it in proper ways to help yourself and others leads to greater maturity.
•   As a mature person, you accept commitments and obligations. You have a positive attitude that helps you to  accept challenges and do your best in all your endeavors.

 

There are many things each of us can do to become more mature individuals.  Look for areas or aspects of your life where you’re less mature. Then determine how you can improve and grow and ultimately become more mature. There are many rewards that come from greater maturity. Most are personal , but some involve others too.  Most rewards are intangible in nature, but this does not mean they are not important.  They can be felt and appreciated and bring peace of mind. Yes, maturity has its many rewards.  Seek after them, and you’ll be a happier and more successful individual.

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Copyright  2008     Leland Pulley