Most of the time, the playground is deserted when we get there, but soon enough, another adult will appear with a child in tow. At this point my daughter will approach the child for a game of tag, or maybe hide and seek.

Today was a day like so many others. A little girl and an adult relative showed up at the playground. In observing them, I was struck once again by the trend among many adults today when they relate to children. The adult will hover over the child. What I mean by this is, I think we have become so accustomed in society to shadowing our children so much, we foster a sort of timidity in them. The woman I saw today stayed with the little girl all the time. She hovered over her and cautioned her about everything from how high she went on the swing, to how fast she ran when she chased my daughter. “Be careful”, “play nice”, and “slow down” were not very far from her lips.

What I didn’t see was any real play between the adult and child. There was no sense of fun, no encouragement to push harder and do more. It was mostly just worrying and fussing over things that might or might not happen.

This was not the first time I had seen this. I witnessed a mother with her son who seemed to do the same thing. The boy was never really given an opportunity to explore and do things on his own. When he misbehaved, there was no discipline at all, just constant talk and “reasoning” like the boy was an adult, rather than a three year old that just wanted some freedom.

As I watched my own kids today, I reflected on that. I observed my son, who is barely two, figuring out how to climb across a jungle gym because he is determined to follow his sister in everything. I watched my daughter swing as high as she could, and run as fast as her feet would take her.

I know that as adults, we have to teach our children how to be safe. We have to watch them closely because unfortunately the world is a lot less safe. But I think that many times we put our children in an artificial state, and don’t let them take risks and fail. We don’t always need to hover. They can fall down and get back up.

Childhood is something that passes by so quickly now. Let’s not forget that the next time we try to lecture our kids to death. Give kids the chance to play, to run, and to learn from their mistakes. Instill in them the courage to take a risk and figure out how to solve a problem on their own.

As I walked off the playground today with my son slung over my shoulder and my daughter’s hand grasped in mine, I took one last look at the little girl we had left behind. She was back on the swings, slicing through the air. Her head was bent, her feet had a little drag, and standing right there, watching every move, was the woman who had accompanied her. Making sure she didn’t go too high or too far. She reminded me of a bird with a broken wing, unable to take flight. I ruffled my daughter’s hair and gave her a smile. Earlier she had swung as high as she could and thrown herself from the swing, and for just a moment there, she was invincible. I hope she and my son keep that look in their eyes for as long as they can.

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Copyright  2008     Leland Pulley