LIfe In The Middle

Keeping In Charge Of Kids 

I was working in a pediatric unit several years ago, and let me tell you, I really had a chance to observe some significant changes in the American family. Firsthand experience has shown that more and more parents have relinquished their parental responsibility over to their children. This usually results in a child who thinks it’s alright to yell, scream, and bully his way through life to get what he wants. It teaches a child that the most important one to satisfy is ME. Me first. Me BEST. Me. Me. Me.

Sadly, I have often had to be to first adult that has been around the child who actually said NO, and meant it. The child may be confused at being denied something, but the parents can be down right stunned. They are afraid their precious little one will be traumatized for the rest of his life.

Parents who have a hard time saying no and setting standards, often find themselves with an out of control child. The child who has had parents who love him enough to set standards, and if necessary take away privileges or ground him for infractions, are doing far more for their child’s growth and development.

Recently I ran across this quote about children. “You are always, always loved, but you are Never Entitled”, Tim Russert’s Rule of Life. As a parent, think about this guideline and how it’s related to this article. Then apply it to your child. (The late Tim Russert was host of the “Meet The Press” show on NBC, and their Washington DC bureau chief .)

Many educators I’ve spoken with say if a child has been taught respect, and courtesy, and can follow through on assignments, he has a higher probability to succeed in his educational experience. This same thing is true for life in general. Teaching your child to be a team player, to be kind and honest, to set goals, and strive to do his best, increases his success in life. It increases his happiness, and sense of well-being.

You eventually want your child to be able to manage his life effectively. You want to feel confident that you’ve given him the tools to be independent of you. Eventually, you want to focus on your own life. I haven’t had any conversations with parents who want their children to be dependent upon them when they’re thirty, forty, or fifty. However, if you don’t teach your children when they’re young, you have no one to blame when you can’t get adult children to move out on their own.

Think about the effects your parenting will have on your child as he gets older. Don’t let him become like the out of control children I have seen. As I have said before, you are the parent, that is your responsibility. It is also your privilege. May you succeed in this great adventure. Until Later...Colleen

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Copyright  2008     Leland Pulley