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Life In The Middle

The Things We Put In The Back Pack Of LIfe Need To Include Others

In April, 2006 I wrote an article about the clutter that accumulates in a woman’s purse. The other night my husband took me to the movie “Up In The Air”. Talk about coincidence! There was George Clooney as the leading man giving a talk on the backpack theory of living. In some ways I felt almost robbed.

George Cloony played the role of a “free” man, who had no attachments in his life. No wife, children, mortgage, friends. His life time goal is to become a frequent flier with 10 million miles. Along the path to his goal he meets a woman, named Alex.. She, like him, is a traveling executive. At different times their air flight paths cross and they meet for a quick get together. When they meet, they often compare each others travel cards and company perks, then they go their separate ways. They walk away “Free and Unattached”.

As the movie progressed it became apparent that George was having some second thoughts about being alone. Finally, at a seminar where George is giving one of his talks on backpack theory, he gets up and leaves. He thinks he has found his true soul mate in Alex. After looking up her address in Chicago, the taxi drops him off and he runs up the stairs and rings her doorbell. Alex opens the door, and the sound of children inside, and the voice of a loving husband quickly bring him back to reality. George stumbles backward, into the darkness and returns to the empty box he has created for himself. George finds out that the “Pretend world” in which Alex has let him entertain her , is just as shallow as his. There was no way that George would ever be a part of her REAL life.

The backpack theory as George lived it can only do so much. Sure, you may avoid some uncomfortable encounters. You won’t worry about hurting your wife’s feelings, or have your time robbed at a child’s soccer game. You won’t bite your nails, worrying about losing your job. But George would never feel the exhilaration of cheering his eight year old on to a home run, or the comfort of a wife’s arms wrapped around his neck. I really felt sorry for the guy when he settled into his first class seat and looked out the window at life below.  He got his miles in that flight and the plane’s captain gave him his frequent flier award. Now that he had it, what was next?

In the real world there are very few people who don’t want to share their life with someone else. I can’t think of many that I have talked with who think they are perfectly happy being alone. My professional experience has taught me that depression is often the partner of isolation and loneliness. Most people are not narcissistic enough that they can live their life entirely self consumed. The question is who really thinks this guy is someone to follow, or exemplify?

When I wrote my handbag article, I said I could pullout anything someone else or I may need., from a tissue, to an aspirin, to dental floss. The point was the things in my bag were there to help not only myself, but those around me that needed some assistance. It’s about sharing and including. George and his backpack were about cutting out of life things and people because eventually they became a burden and hindrance. They slowed you down.

I don’t know about you, but I am sure glad I chose to add a husband in my purse, and children, and a mortgage, and sleepless nights sitting up with a sick child, or a dog, or a cat, or my friends, and every other burden and hindrance that I have embraced. I just wanted to remind us to see that life is indeed rich when the stuff we carry through our experiences includes those we love and care about. Something to think about, until later... Colleen

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Copyright 2010 Leland Pulley